Yeah so there was this time when I lived in Los Angeles and was a casting director, but not for fancy pants actor-y types. I casted BACKGROUND TALENT. You’ve seen that show Extras right? Yeah, it’s SERIOUSLY JUST LIKE THAT.
Anyway this was probably in the early oughties, probably 2002. And I was just innocently minding my own business, at my desk at Central Casting where i yes, was casting background talent. I could hear the din of a conversation taking place near my cube. I nonchalantly looked to my right and noticed that my boss was talking to none other than Jamesy Franconi, I mean James Franco. This being 2002, he was well-known but certainly not the Oscar-nominated actor / author / weed enthusiast that we all know and love today. No, in 2002 he had only starred in that James Dean biopic where HE LOOKED JUST LIKE JAMES DEAN, (I mean, freaky-deaky!) and the first Raimi Spider-Man. Coincidentally enough (or not) my screenwriting partner and I had finished up a script around this same time (a very LA thing to do). It was a dark, edgy, psychologically quirky teen massacre flick. And for the main dude part we had Francophone in mind. Yeah so that didn’t happen.
So anyway I’m looking to my right and I’m all “oh hey, it’s that James Dean-lookin motherfucker.” And then my inside voice was like “no really, Jaime, that’s a-bonafide James Franco. James Franco is next to you. Talking.” And then once my voices quieted down he looked at me for all of .004 seconds before I went back to my work.
Fast forward to September 2004: open on a busy Borders bookstore in bustling, downtown Philadelphia. It’s a Sunday, in the cafe, and books and magazines are strewn over occupied table after occupied table. JAIME DAVIS, mid-20’s, messy cute in a Border’s apron, works the busy cafe with a frenzy. Ok we’re not going to get into why I’m no longer in LA casting the ever-so-talented background talent and NOT SHOPPING AROUND AFOREMENTIONED TEEN SLASHER FLICK.
Anyway, so I’m working in this cafe, right? And it’s like absolutely NO FUN. I’ve only been working here for a few weeks at this point, so I haven’t made any real “work friends” yet and everyone is just generally clique-y and beyond annoying. When I’m working the cafe, the only time fellow staffers come by is to refill their coffee and buy one of those godawful yet sickeningly delicious stuffed pretzels. YES, the kind with the tomato sauce inside.
So I’m working the cafe and I notice something strange…like, I have FRIENDS! All of a sudden there’s a row of young ladyish Border’s employees all nonchalantly lounging against the back wall of the cafe, where i do my barista b’ness. And I greet them, and they smile back, wave. No big deal, just chilling like any other day. Right? WRONG. And as I’m thinking something isn’t quite right, and that no, “these ladies are not here to initiate you into their double-secret Border’s sorority,” this squat little male employee who only wears the color brown comes bounding up to the cafe with:
“DID YOU KNOW JAMES FRANCO IS IN THE STORE HE’S HERE SOMEWHERE OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED AND I’M GOING TO GO FIND HIM RIGHT NOW.”
And then I turn around to the gaggle of girlies behind me and they all just kind of blush and smile and one of them points behind the little brown man. And there, against the opposite far back row, lounging in a chair and covered in books and mags, was none other than my soulmate, my little spaghetti-O, James and the Giant Franco. And literally, lit-er-ally, my first thought was, “Jesus this guy is stalking me.”
NO JOKE. That was my first thought.
And then I read later that he was filming a movie in Philadelphia called “Annapolis” which no, the humor of this is not lost on me. One. Bit.
So to make matters worse, The Southeastern Pennsylvania Chapter of the OFFICIAL Official James Franco Fan Club didn’t leave. They just stood there for EVER. And yes, I was still really, really busy during all of this “excitement.” And yeah, all of these bitches knew how to work the cafe (there’s a hierarchical method to the Border’s madness). And then, just when I thought my day was completely shot, it got even more horrid. James…wanted…to…buy something. From the cafe! AHHHH! And he’s in line. And he’s still in line. Cause it’s busy! I’ve established this! And no one is helping! And these stalkers are just steady with the staring and finally he’s in front of me. I think he bought the two most random things ever - a Lindt truffle that cost all of 50 cents and a peppermint stick. I’m pretty sure that was it. And you guys - he was dirty and smelly and higher than Angelina Jolie during the filming of Gone in 60 Seconds (that’s no joke - sometimes casting background talent has its perks). So off, off Pig-Pen went in a puff of smoke and a flick of dirt. And those fan club bitches were gone…in 6o seconds.
(Posted by Jaime)
